Oh These Things That I Love

I love how the Lord takes all the broken messy pieces of our lives and weaves them into something beautiful, to be used for His glory. 

I love how the trials we face do not define who we are, but the way we face them (with or without Jesus) does.
I love how God uses trials and adversity in our lives to draw us nearer to Him.

I love getting a glimpse of what heaven might be like when I see a child playing in the rain, or a bird singing in the trees, or the sunlight dancing on the windowsill after a long snowstorm.

I love that I am married to the most wonderful man on the planet who is just as broken and flawed and messy and screwed up as I am and that we both rely on Jesus as our #1 source to get through this crazy, nutty world.

I love authenticity and realness in my relationships.

l love beautiful girlfriends who pour out their hearts over a warm cup of coffee.

I love that I can rest in the fact that I will never be perfect, but I serve an awesome Creator who is.

I love knowing that the Holy Spirit dwells within me and He is my #1 source for strength.

I love that some days my heart overflows with prayer for people I don't even know. 

I love that I have a Savior who died for me, and for you, and who knew us before we were even born. 

I love being a beautifully broken child of the One True King.

I love being showered in His grace. 

I love that God used infertility and miscarriage this year to draw my husband and I closer to Him and to each other.

I love that I don't know what the future holds for the upcoming year, but that I can rest in the fact our Great and Mighty, All-Knowing Counselor and King does.

Friends, as we draw closer to the end of another year, take time out of your crazy busy life to reflect. And be thankful for the trials and the joys you have faced this year. Take some time today to once again fall head over heels in love with your King.

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Today You Have A Choice

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

God has burned the above bible verse into my heart this year. When we found out that our desire to have kids naturally had come to an end, I was devastated. Crushed. Beat up, hammered , broken, ripped apart and shredded to pieces. My soul was (still is) weary. And my eyes some days still so very teary.

It's tough when the path you choose has come to an end.

I walked around in a daze for months, feeling so insignificant and like such a zombie. (I really hate zombies, so please pardon my use of a horrible pop culture reference, but that's what I had become.) A zombie who cried at the drop of a hat, and sunk into obscurity from family and friends. Someone just barely able to get the basic tasks of life accomplished each day.

The hubby had his own zombie thing going on too.

Let's just say, it wasn't a pretty time for us friends. It still isn't some days. It's hard, finding out you aren't worthy to have kids.

But that's a lie. A huge lie, from our sneaky enemy.

I struggle every day not to believe these lies.

"You are unworthy. Unloved. Not a real woman. Barren. Broken. Vile. Unlovable. What's the point in living? You are not a woman. You have no purpose in this life."

Lies. Each and every one of them. And I hear them whispering to me every time I see a mama and her baby. Every time I read a Facebook announcement of a new birth. Every time I walk into church. Every time I walk through the kids section of a department store.

But I have a choice.

I can give in to the lies of Satan and believe I am not worthy. That I'm a barren piece of junk. Someone that has been stripped of my significance by the church, my family and my friends; knowing that I will never be able to create life. Someone unworthy of basic womanhood.

Or I can get up each day and choose life. God's word. His promises.

I can choose to trust in God's promises, even when I seriously have no idea what He's trying to accomplish in my life right now.

Here's the cold, harsh, stinky reality friends. Are you ready to hear it?

We ALL have choices to make.
Sometimes we make bad ones.
Sometimes good ones.
And other times, we're just downright lucky that things work out even when we choose poorly.

But we have to live with our choices. And trust that our great and mighty God will use all of them, the good and the bad, for His glory.

To the woman who is struggling today, wondering if she's not worthy - as a mom, a wife, a female, a human being. To the woman who gets up and looks in the mirror each day and chooses to see all her flaws; the flab, the gray hairs, the lines, the wrinkles. To the woman who believes she is never enough.

I have news for you:
You are more than beautiful. You are more than enough. {tweet this}

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139: 14)

Today I wanted to remind you that you have a choice. 
Believe those ugly lies.
Or choose God's beautiful truth.

Choose wisely dear, sweet, glorious daughter of the One True King.
Choose truth. For the truth shall set you free.

Make a choice today to turn away from the darkness that lurks within your mind. And speak truth to those awful thoughts. Shout out that you are a child of God. That you are beautiful, in spite of your flaws and because of your flaws. That Jesus died for you. To cover you in His grace moment by moment, each and every day.

You don't have to be the best mom, or the perfect wife. Or the perfect anything. You just have to be the you God created. And that you, no matter the flaws, is absolutely beautiful.

"Heavenly Father, thank you for creating me in your image. Thank you for making me beautiful, unique, and filled with a God-given purpose that no one else on this earth possesses. Thank you for giving me your Word, which breathes life into this tired, sad, weary and sometimes doubting soul. Thank you Lord for creating me. And please, oh please, sweet Father, help me to understand my purpose, my significance and my role in this life. Help all the dear brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling with this today, Lord. Let us not believe in the lies Satan tries to sell us. Let us instead look into the mirror and see us through your eyes father. In Jesus precious name. Amen"

Let's do our best today to shout away the lies of the enemy and choose to breathe life into our souls through God's wonderful promises and His perfect Word. Pick up your bible today sweet sisters. And choose Life!

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A Weary Soul In Search Of Rest

I decided to update a post that spoke deeply to where I am today. Hope you find it encouraging!

I honestly don't understand why all the bad stuff happens to us in our lives, I really don't. But the Bible doesn't promise us that once we accept Jesus as our Savior and enter into a relationship with Him that it will be all rainbows, lollipops and roses. I wish!

God does promise, through His Word, that He will be with us when we face those trials, He will even carry our burdens if we ask for help. He will lift us up when we are down, provide comfort when we are weary and rejoice with us when we face the joys of this life.

To be honest, it’s been a bit of a rough couple years. Lots of life "stuff" has left me emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted! Thyroid surgery, infertility, miscarriage, plus the usual trials of life.

But the reality is we all have struggles. We all carry burdens. And it sort of stinks some days, doesn't it?

But so many wonderful friends, those I know personally, as well as those I know because you stumbled upon my tiny little corner of the internet, have sent lots of emails and messages encouraging me lately. And I just wanted to say thank you.

Right now I’m trying to be obedient. Part of that obedience includes writing about these trials. I guess to let you know that I go through them too. We all do. But we sure like to put on that smiley face most days and pretend everything's ok, don't we? Some days we need to do it, simply to get through the day. But eventually, the more unreal we are with the people around us, the easier it becomes to detach from the world. And that's so not a good thing.

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned over the past year is to just rest. In Jesus. To trust, knowing that even when we have no answers, all things do eventually work together for His good and His glory. (Romans 8:28)  Even if we can't see it.

Spiritual rest, it's a beautiful thing!

Do you need some spiritual rest right now? Is your well dry? Have you been wandering in the desert searching for something you can’t seem to find? Maybe it’s time for you to rest too.

Rest. What an elusive four letter word!

How can we rest? Especially as women...we are wired as multitaskers!

For starters, let's stop running around like a chicken with our head cut off!

Give yourself a break.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. {tweet this}

Better yet…stop comparing yourself to an ideal that exists only in your head. 
H E L L O… we all do it!

I don’t know where you are in life right now. Maybe you are facing a crisis in your marriage. Or dealing with a disobedient or sick child. Or heaven forbid, both! Maybe you are dealing with loss…the loss of a job, a loved one, a friend or financial security. Maybe it’s the loss of what could be…a child, a job, a relationship. Or maybe, life has handed you a huge bag full of lemons and it’s all you can do to just squeeze out a tiny ounce of lemonade right now. Maybe you are hanging on by a thread and you need a little rest.

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Or maybe, like me, you are finally coming to terms with the fact that you can’t do life on your own.you must rely on God first and foremost, as well as the other wonderful people He has placed in your life.

Maybe, also like me, you just have a big case of the wearies. I've had a case of the crazies before, so the wearies should be a snap to get through! :)

My heart is weary. But I think most days you wouldn't know it. I think most people think I’m on a sugar high most of the time. But it’s really just a God high….I have been able to find joy amidst most of the hardships in life. Even our current struggles with infertility. It's hard and I have to fight to find joy each day. Cuz even the most joyful person can only take so much. At some point we all become weary and we just need to rest.

Will you join me?

Let's rest and drink from the well of our heavenly Father.
Devour His word. 
Remind ourselves of His promises.
Ask for prayer.
Lean on friends.
Trust in HIM.
Trust in HIM.
Trust in HIM.

My heart hurts so much sometimes, that it almost feels like I will burst into a gazillion pieces if I can’t just cry out all the pain locked deep inside my soul. So I've been pouring it all out to my Heavenly Father. And like Pringles, once you start, you just can't stop!

Okay, okay, maybe I’m being a tad dramatic. I am in broadcasting after all.

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

It’s time for this girl to listen and rest. Rest in God’s promises, drink in His word, and spend some quality time with some really awesome, inspiring people who love me just for who I am.

{What do you think?}
Will you join me today and do the same? Reach out to someone you love today and let them know what's going on in your crazy life. And spend some time in God's word. Rest in His promises.

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Meeting Jesus In The Woods

I have a friend who goes up to her cabin and spends regular weekends with Jesus. She walks in the woods and watches deer dancing in her front yard. She spends hours in her Bible. And many more hours on her knees confessing sins. She sings hymns and praises to our great and mighty King.

And I'll admit it. The first time she told me about it, I thought she was just plain weird.

But the past few years my heart has faced sorrows so deep that there are no words that can aptly describe the pain. It's like a deep black pain that just rips you apart and pulls out your soul. Stomps on it, then sticks it in a meat grinder. Then tosses it in a paper shredder for dramatic effect and stuffs it right back into your soul cavity. Broken. Ripped apart. Washed salty by all the tears. Dried out from all the sadness.

No, I'm not dramatic at all.

Infertility. Miscarriage.
Such deep, dark, burning wounds.

But my friend who meets Jesus in the woods is onto something.

When you let Jesus fill up that deep, black, painful hole inside of you, beautiful things begin to happen. {tweet this}

Years of pain are replaced with tears of joy. Knowing that someday the other side of Heaven you will dance and hug and sing with your precious babies. And you will do all these other wonderful things like go for walks and play dates and build big sand castles and talk about boy things and girl things and funny things and silly things. But these moments will be so much more. More timeless. More precious. More eternal.

That deep pain in your heart will be healed up and filled with God's glory and power and mercy. You will be so showered in grace that you will forget you only met your babies in eternity and never had a chance to love one another this side of Heaven.

My friend who meets Jesus in the woods is onto something.

Friends, when your soul is so battered and broken that you question whether it is worth believing, run to the woods. Meet Jesus there. Let him shower you in His grace. And fill you up with His love. Let Him brush away your tears and tell you it's going to be ok. That He has a plan and a purpose far greater than your tiny little human mind can possibly imagine.

And when you are done meeting Jesus in the woods, like my wise friend, wipe away your salty tears. And make sure your heart clings so tightly to Him, that you will be able to face the heavy blackness together until it becomes beautifully bright again.

{What do you think?}
Have you ever had a special healing moment with Jesus? Tell me about it!

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