Keepin' It Real - Living Life In The Real World

I've had 10 insanely productive, relaxing and enjoyable days without Facebook. Can you believe it? (Last week, I deactivated my Facebook account) I realized that Facebook is not a very healthy tool for someone who is super social (um, this girl right here) and is predisposed to procrastination (um, hello, me again).


This social girl has realized that Facebook has been a major distraction over recent years. A way to keep me from the necessary but mundane things in life. But even pleasant distractions have a way of turning into bad habits. And I don't know about you, but my distractions tend to get in the way of me making the most of my days. Both spiritually and functionally.

I had alot of emails this past week asking why I deactivated my account. It was honestly a year-long process, but the tipping point, so to speak, was when I logged into Facebook the other weekend and my news feed was filled with posts of 'friends' who had tagged other 'friends' they had hung out with that weekend. Um...hello...talk about feeling a bit excluded. Which let me say is totally ridiculous, as I just had a weekend filled with real world friends and good times, and I wouldn't have hung out with these particular people that weekend even if I had been asked.

So why did I feel excluded? I really don't know. But I did. And now I sort of find them annoying. And rude. Which is totally judgmental and just not me.


Do you ever feel excluded or judgmental in cyber space?
Be honest.

I mean, think about it, if you were in a room full of 300 plus people, would you grab a microphone and point out that you had a great time with 6 people in that room over the weekend? Um, no. Why? Cuz that would sort of be rude. And a bit weird. A little self absorbed even. And chances are, if you are a nice person, you wouldn't want other friends to feel  left out, or hurt, by the fact they weren't invited, right? So...if we don't do it in the real world, why is it OK to do it in the cyber world? 

I know I'm not alone in this struggle. I have friends who feel the same way. We recognize it's totally silly. And insane. And utterly irrational.

Facebook has only been around for a decade, but over the last year or two there have been alot of studies showing that it makes women feel isolated and insecure. Ironic for a social networking site, right? All I seem to hear lately is women telling me how they don't measure up to the supermoms on Facebook. They wish they had 'so and sos' life. Or they judge (and gossip about) something a person posted. It makes me so sad.

In real life I am not excluded by the people that matter. So I guess I don't want to feel excluded in the cyber world by people who don't.

I am not a judgmental person. Or an apathetic one. But this silly platform has been making me feel petty, judgmental and downright ridiculous. And I don't like it.

You might not agree with me, and you know what, that's totally OK. But this is where I am right now. I don't want to contribute to someone else's negative feelings about their own self worth. Or make them feel they don't measure up to my "perfect" (so not true) life. (And honestly until I don't give a rip that so and so hung out with so and so, it's simply time for me to take a break.)

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12
I have done more laundry, cleaning, writing and actual fun stuff this past week - like spending extra long quality time with Jesus, the hubby and good friends; cooking gourmet food, writing letters to old friends - than I have in quite some time. I've been filling my 'extra' time with things that really matter, or at least have tangible outcomes. Right now, I'm choosing to live life fully present in the real world (except for blogging, hahaha). I know it's what God wants me to do in this season of life.

My desire for you this week friend, is that you continue to be more intentional with your time and your real world relationships. Maybe Facebook isn't a distraction for you. But chances are, something is. And maybe it's time to get rid of it. Time to number your days with wisdom, not folly.

Oh, and as a last thought...will you please consider taking a moment to evaluate if your social interactions may be impacting others in a negative way, even if it is unintentionally?

Please be considerate of others. We do it in the real world. Let's do it in cyber space too. OK?
xoxo, Nicki


YOUR TURN...Be honest: Has social media ever made you feel excluded? Have you ever stopped to think that what you write might be impacting someone negatively? Have you been struggling to find balance in your life? Is God convicting you to give up a major distraction this week?

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