Scratch that. Not quite right..."Hi. I'm Nicki. I'm a bit of a control freak."
I really wish there was a recovery group for people stuck in perfection mode.
But let's get real. No one has created one yet. Even if there was such a group, I honestly wouldn't step foot through the door, cuz then I'd have to openly admit some days I am OUT OF CONTROL. Not to mention, it might actually be a room filled with crazy people and I don't need any more crazy in my life. Or worse, they'd be perfectly normal, which means I'd be the crazy one in the room.
Some days I feel like I came spiraling out of control!
I have spent most of my professional life in the corporate and political world managing marketing, communications and pr campaigns. And let me just say, I had this epiphany, like right this moment, that it's totally fitting (and ironic) that I've been in an industry most of my adult life that promotes superficial perceptions of people, things and products. Insane.
I honestly used to wear my perfectionism as a badge of honor. Whether I was keynoting at a large conference, training a regional sales team, standing in front of TV cameras or lobbying in the halls of Washington DC, I always tried to look and act like I was in control. Perfect suit. Perfect makeup. Perfect haircut. Perfect nails. But deep down, I was an out of control, nervous ninny. HELP ME JESUS!
Truth is, I'm still an out of control nervous ninny.
Ever feel like you need to have it all together, but deep inside you really don't? Join my club!
I honestly thought I'd find some freedom from my crazy perfectionist ways when I left the high-stress life of corporate America and entered into ministry. Um, not so much. In fact, sometimes I struggle more now than ever before. It's no longer about the perfect words to make a company or politician sound awesome. It's making sure I have the right words, the right actions and the right attitude to let Jesus shine. Holy crap, that is alot of *self-imposed* stress! So grateful for God's grace and the Holy Spirit.
Pick up a magazine. Walk through the halls of a church. Check out a group of women in the middle of a girl's night out. Sit in a corporate business meeting. Perfectionism is everywhere.
It's downright crazy how hard we work to make ourselves look like we are totally together. Exhausting too, don't ya think? The idea of perfectionism is terribly flawed. And let's face it:
No one is perfect, except for Jesus.
So let's just agree to rest in our Perfect Savior today and trust that He's the only One who has to have it all figured out. In the meantime, let's do our best to just be who He created us to be and trust that He knows what He's doing with us, flaws and all.
Struggle with perfectionism? You might also like to read "The Hissy Fit From West Virginia" and "Be Real. Be YOU!"