Pray For A Marriage In Need

This marriage stuff is hard work! Not as easy as they make it seem on TV, right? I mean on TV, marriage is either perfect, or it ends when it gets too hard. Fade to commercial. You come back and everyone is happy. Neither depiction is remotely biblical, or realistic for that matter.

pray for a marriage in need.

The bible is our blueprint for living out a Godly marriage.

I grew up in a broken home. The hubs did too. So starting our life out together, I guess you could say we were "in the hole" as far as parental role models went. If someone had given me a heads up, maybe it would have been easier to deal with some of the difficulties we faced.

But as I wrote recently, we got through them. And we are all the better for it! I am so blessed to be loved by such a wonderfully imperfect, loving, God-honoring man who is as committed as I am to making our marriage healthy. Notice I didn't say happy. Because no marriage is always happy. Or perfect for that matter. But it can be healthy, even when we're grumpy or going through a difficult time or having a bad day.

We sought out Godly marriages and role models, and learned what it means to truly live God's design for love and respect, leadership and submission. It wasn't easy and it's still a work in progress, just like any healthy relationship. We work at it daily. And we constantly challenge one another to grow deeper in our relationship with the Lord and one another.

Praise the Lord for forgiveness. And abundant mercy and grace.

We all have an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. In life. And in marriage. But if that's true, then why do so many marriages, and so many people, keep making the same mistakes over and over again?

The answer is so simple. SIN.

Stupid Satan. And darn that Eve for eating that apple! (j/k, sort of)

I don't know if it's due to my life as a radio girl, or just because I am approachable, but I'm aware of A LOT of people who have very broken marriages. Christian people. Couples who put on smiley faces on Sunday and then the rest of the week, well, let's just say it's not so smiley. People you would never in a million years suspect of an unhappy or unhealthy marriage.

Today my heart is so very heavy for people whose marriages really suck. My heart cries out for friends, acquaintances and others I know who are in such a dark place in their relationships right now.

(If you are in need of a healthy marriage, please reach out and ask a trusted friend or two for prayer. Please, don't give up hope. Keep praying. Keep asking God to move mountains in your marriage. Take a look at your own sins and failures (we all have them) and ask God to reveal to you what you can't seem to see, whether you're blinded by pride, bitterness or anger. Whatever it may be, just don't give up hope. And continue to ask God to work wonders in your spouse. He is a God who can move literal mountains. He can do it in your marriage too.)

Will you join me in prayer today?

Pray that hurting marriages everywhere can be healed through God's word and a lot of patience, love and hard work. Pray that spouses who are angry and apathetic become overwhelmed with a fierce desire to fix what is broken. Pray for those who feel they have officially checked out to check themselves back into their marriage and renew their covenant with the Lord. Pray for those that feel it's not their fault to have their eyes open to their own sin and how it's damaging their marriage relationship. Pray for spouses to get into God's word and remind themselves of His design for their broken, hurting marriage.

We can't fix broken marriages. But God can.

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39 comments:

  1. As someone walking through divorce, I appreciate and understand your post. I prayed for so long for God to heal our marriage, to change my husband and help him overcome his infidelity, porn, and abuse.

    However, God showed me that his redemption in this situation is walking me and the children OUT of this broken home and into a healing home. I will never say that my children come from a broken home. That is what we have lived in all these years. I see our new home as a place of peace, refuge, healing and truth.

    God does care about marriages. He cares about his children and their walk with him. But in my situation, I also had to be careful not to put "the marriage" above the fact that I am a child of God. I couldn't make an idol out of my marriage.

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  2. I am so very glad that you are out of an abusive situation and safe and able to live without fear of hurt or pain! Praise the Lord for the ability to have hearts healed and a new "normal" for your family. I grew up in a very abusive home environment and just want to encourage you to continue holding onto Jesus. He will help heal your kids and you. I pray you will find healing and freedom in Christ As you adjust to safety. May you be able to lay your head down at night and find rest. And wake up in the mornings refreshed so you can find hope in Jesus. Praying for you! Thank you for sharing!

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  3. Thanks Nicki, I appreciate it. :) I have had SO much confirmation from The Lord along the way, which I desperately need because for abuse started to mKe me think I was going crazy. God is so good and faithful, and he knows what we need. He is so gentle with me - peeling back the layers from the years slowly, so I am not overwhelmed all at once, and bringing healing to those areas. It will be a long process, and it's painful, but I am praying for God's protection and healing over my little ones and I as we continue to move forward. Falling into God's arms is scary, but it's the safest place to be. :-)

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  4. You are spot on, Nicki! Our only true and lasting hope is turning to the Lord to strengthen our hearts in a messy or failing marriage. When we keep Him our focus on Him and let Him refuel and refill us, we are able to love our spouses even when they don't love us back the way we want or need. I'm grateful that you've pointed out that a healthy marriage isn't ALWAYS "happy." You've explained this beautifully. And I'm glad that you and your hubby have the kind of relationship where you cheer each other on when you're feeling weak. That's so great, so important and so rare. Kudos to you two! Hugs to you, my friend!

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  5. So thankful that God can fix broken marriages. You're right that we just can't do it on our own power; we all have too much self-centeredness in us. But with the Spirit's breathing, miracles still happen. Thanks for this Nicki!

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  6. After years of counseling couples, many of them deep in the faith, I can only say 'amen' to your wise words, Nicki. Our churches are filled with broken, wounded souls whose marriages are fading quickly.

    There's help and hope in prayer, in wise counsel, in owning our own individual stuff and asking for forgiveness.

    But first we've got to answer Jesus' wise question - 'do you want to be well?'

    Thanx for this super post, friend ...

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  7. I am so very thankful that my hubby and I have that type of relationship too! It didn't happen easily, or overnight, but through lots and lots of practice, messups and GRACE. Oodles of GRACE! Blessings to you sweet friend! xoxo

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  8. I fear that if it was left to us, Lisa, we'd be missing out on the total beauty of marriage that can only come from submitting to the Lord's leading in our lives. :) We grow so much through letting Him take the lead in our lives. Miracles indeed do happen, and it's always a privilege to see how the Lord works in others to heal their hearts. Blessings to you!

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  9. Oh Linda, if our churches weren't filled with broken, wounded souls...they'd be empty wouldn't they? :) There is hope and there is healing...and lots and lots of prayer. I am so glad that you have had the privilege of walking alongside others and caring for their hurting hearts. Blessings to you sweet lady. xoxo

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  10. My friend gives the most hilarious, and perfectly wonderful advice to anyone who confesses marriage problems to her. She'll say, "Pray over your husband at night. When he is sleeping, place your hand on his back or shoulder and pray your heart out that God will pour out his love, peace and mercy on your husband and on your relationship." Her advice has changed lives - like in amazing and profound ways. One husband had no idea his wife was silently praying over him while he slept, but he confided in her that on a certain day he started to feel more peace from God. It was the exact day she had started to pray for him. Powerful stuff this prayer. Blessed by your words today, as usual!

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  11. MicroGal - Like you, after years of praying for healing within my marriage, the Lord delivered me and walked me right out of the broken relationship. He will be with you each step of the way and will fill in those gaps for your children. Keep it up!

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  12. Love that you took time to encourage MG Missy! :)

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  13. Walking through divorce can be very isolating in the Christian community. I really appreciated your kindness to her. Even though it is never ideal, sometimes divorce is necessary and preferred to the continuation of abuse, betrayal, etc. This rescue is often misunderstood by those who have not experienced difficult marriages and brokenness that rejects redemption.

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  14. Your friend is a smart cookie Jenni! I have been doing the same as your friend since the day I met my hubby. I just knew he was the one for me! ;) prayer does amazing things in our lives, and we know this, don't we? yet it can be such a struggle sometimes when our hearts are hurting.

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  15. Good for you, MicroGal, to have taken your kids and gotten out of such a bad situation. I was in an abusive marriage and no matter what I did or tried to change it was never enough. The best, God honoring thing I did was to put him out. And God...He is the Husband to the widow and Father to the Fatherless. At dinner I would tell my sons now grown that Jesus was sitting with us. Praying for you as your journey through darkness and into great light, love and life. Many blessings to you and yours. Hugs.

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  16. As a mentor to women especially regarding their marriages...THIS is VITAL: Each partner's love walk with Christ. If we make it our aim to please HIM truly, really, sacrificially...we day by day become the spouses He wants us to be. Spouses that give the world a glimpse of God. So agree with you here: We work at it daily. And we constantly challenge one another to grow deeper in our relationship with the Lord and one another. Thanks for a great post, Nicki. #RaRaLinkup

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  17. We have a heart to mentor couples in their marriages Sheila, and I couldn't agree with you more. When we put Him first in EVERYTHING, life changes, perspective changes, hearts change. God is good all the time. :) Blessings!

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  18. I too prayed for years to heal my marriage but it didn't happen and one night as I was praying so desperately God seemed to wrap His arms around me as I cried and said that He was crying too but He gave us each a choice. Today God has blessed me to be married again. God really walked with me all the way and still continues to to so today. Blessings to all.

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  19. Hi Nicki, we can't keep turning our faces the other way! I love this article especially the point you made "We can't fix broken marriages. But God Can". I join you in prayers today.
    God Bless you richly.

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  20. I am need of prayer for this as well, my husband left our home at the end of Jan. He is seeing a woman, and has retained counsel for our divorce, and I am brokenhearted. I will pray for others' marriages as well. God Bless You All!

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  21. Oh I am so sorry Darla. Praying for you and your family. And that God will heal your broken heart.

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  22. Thanks Ifeoma. It is prayer time well spent, I think, when we can pray for Godly marriages in our family and friends. Blessings!

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  23. I am glad that you were able to feel the Lord's comfort thru your difficult times Rebecca. Blessings!

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  24. Lord, bless those in hurting marriages and bring your endless love right in the midst of them. I cheer your heart to address this Nicki. There is so much hurt and often it is glossed right over. Lovin' on you from the #RaRalinkup as always! ;)

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  25. Yes! Yes! Yes! We should be praying for God to protect and preserve marriages -- we take this for granted until someone we love begins having problems. The longer I'm married, the more I realize how vulnerable every marriage is.

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  26. Oh so very true Michele. We celebrated 11 years this past winter, and even though I know for many people that's a short time, for us it's a huge blessing. We both come from broken homes and are the first generation in a while to stay together thru it all. Couldn't do it without Jesus! Blessings! :)

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  27. Beautiful prayer friend!

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  28. Thank you for sharing this!!! I have separated from my husband four times in sixteen years. Until nine years, I wasn't following and surrendered to Jesus daily. My husband, I believe doesn't have a close intimate relationship with the Lord. The last time we separated, he started coming to church with the girls and I. But his actions continue to be very much that of a lost person. I continue to pray that he will get it--the condition of his heart doesn't line up with a biblical Christian. Please pray for me and my husband. Thank you!

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  29. Saying a prayer now Joyce! And praying you continue to remain faithful to the One who has set you free. I pray you have a network of people around you who are praying for you and your marriage and your hubby's salvation. If not, I strongly encourage you to reach out to people you feel will faithfully support you in prayer. "Heavenly Father you know the hearts of these people and the state of their marriage. I ask for you to do your will in their marriage and continue to allow Joyce to remain faithful and true to your word. Protect her Father from the weariness, the sadness and the lost hope that comes in those dark moments, shine light into her heart and her marriage, allow Joyce to focus on you and your gifts for her in this life Lord, and please let her know that all things can and will work together for good in your timeline, and thru your glorious all knowing ways. Even when there are days we don't see it, or can't possibly understand. Continue to give her hope Father. Let her rest in Your word and Your presence, let her see You working in her life and her marriage. In Jesus name, Amen."

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  30. Rev and I reached 43 years last month. I am so blessed. He has been loving imperfect me and making me laugh since the day we met. Our favorite thing to do is sit and talk about the ways God is working in our lives. So thankful I am blessed with a man who loves to talk, too. Hugs!


    OMT - A friend who is getting married this month asked me for some advice. Besides the importance of God in our marriages, I always say, "Never stop flirting." Remember how hard you worked to get their attention and be playful? Don't stop! It keeps things fresh and fun! Blessings!

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  31. Ah, such a great post, Nicki! I know several couples going through some heartbreaking ugliness right now, and sometimes all you can do is pray (which is actually a HUGE thing, but you know what I mean...) I've been married for 27 years and I truly LOVE marriage, so it saddens me deeply to see couples not enjoying life together :( The best marriage advice we had as newlyweds was "Never come off your honeymoon!" Sounds a bit corny, and there are times when you're not feeling particularly honeymoon-ish, but honestly, keeping the romance alive and making time for dates and communication and all that great stuff- it's kinda nice. And it works for us :) Praying for hurting marriages today... Stopping by from Counting My Blessings (and I truly am!!) :)

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  32. Excellent post, and I am so glad that God can fix our marriages and everything else for that matter. This thing to remember is to turn to Him for help instead of going it alone. With Christ at the centre of our marriages it will go much better. Thanks so much for sharing with us at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings to you Nicki.

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  33. I don't know about you Terri, but it's taken me a long time to figure out that I need to turn to the Lord first to help me get thru this crazy life. :) It's so against our sin nature to admit we can't do it all alone, or that there are things wrong with US, it's not always the others fault. I am glad I have learned this lesson, but it breaks my heart that so many marriages are hurting. If only they would turn to Jesus first. He is the ultimate Healer and Fixer of all things! Such a hard but valuable lesson. Blessings sweet lady!

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  34. 27 years is a beautiful accomplishment Laura! That piece of marriage advice, put into practice is HARD, but if you have been able to do that, so proud of you! I had someone tell me once that you should kiss your spouse passionately every single day. That is beautiful wisdom too! ;) Blessings! May you go forth and help inspire younger women in the church to love on their hubbies! Xoxo

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  35. You and Rev are awesome Deb! I wish we lived near each other, I think you two would be some of our favorite people! :) We love to sit and talk about how God is working in our lives too. And we love having deep theological discussions, I have to say that is one of my favorite things about my husband, his deep love and knowledge and passion for the Lord! :) You give awesome advice too. Never stop flirting.... Sounds like a great blog post is in your future! :)

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  36. Thank you so much for such an encouraging post on marriage. I liked the Truth you spoke that it's about striving for a "healthy" marriage with the understanding that it may not always "be happy".


    I've seen it happen in a loved ones marriage that was severely broken, but when God was sought and honored, He DID move mountains and performed a miracle to restore their relationship.


    Thanks for sharing!

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  37. Hi. I found you on the coffee for the heart link up. I shared this link on Twitter. I think there has been an attack on marriage ever since the feminist movement. I think it was taken to the extremes which is not of God. My heart breaks for my husband's first failed marriage. I remember telling myself I'd walk away if ever they hinted at being in each other's lives again. Lucky for me, she stayed away and I have the husband of my dreams in the making, in God's hands. For me, the turning point was around Easter in 2011. I cried out to God to change me so our relationship could be salvaged. I think God did amazing work in our marriage and has done more than salvage it but make it a testimony to his greatness. Thank you for praying for marriages and the children who benefit from them! Blessings~

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  38. I am glad you are able to live out a Godly example of marriage in your life !eredith!

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  39. Yes Karen! I have seen this amazing turnaround in other really broken marriages too, when people got out of the way and let Jesus take the wheel so to soeak. Blessings!

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