Stop Being So Judgmental

You know, I have yet to find a place in the Bible where God says we must only eat organic food and that all processed food is evil. I haven't found a scripture verse yet to confirm that leggings are evil, even when worn modestly with long shirts. If there is scripture to back up that vaccinations are the spawn of Satan and should be outlawed, and the parents who choose to use them thrown in jail, I haven't found it.

stop being so judgmental.

Seriously, what's the deal lately? I can't log into Facebook without someone telling me that my GMO grapefruit is going to cause me to sprout an eyeball in the back of my head. I am as worried about the quality of my food as the next person, but lately it seems like grace has flown straight out the window!

What happened to speaking the truth in love to one another, especially within the Body of Christ? Even about things like grapefruit. Even if we don’t agree with everything someone says or does. Or like what clothes they wear to church. Or support the missions and causes they believe in. Or agree with their stance on vaccinations. Or whether they, heaven forbid, choose to send their kids to public school. Or let their family eat processed foods.

Why do we have to be so condescending to people that hold different viewpoints? Whatever happened to grace? I'm guilty of this too friends, no one is perfect, it's human nature.

Stop being so judgmental.  Let God do His job. 

Let's think about it this way, to all the nonbelievers watching, reading and listening to our every move, it's no wonder many of them don't want to follow Christ. When they see us tearing each other apart, even in the little things, are we showing them what it means to follow Jesus?

stop being so judgmental.

I'm pretty sure God would like us to eat a piece of fruit over a pound of processed sugar, it's common sense that one is better than the other. But really, if you choose the less healthy choice on occasion, I don't think your soul will suffer, even if your waist line does.

It’s not biblical to rip apart or gossip about whatever group of people, cause or thing of the moment irks you. Or comment on the clothes someone is wearing to church. Or the type of car someone drives. It's not okay to air people's dirty laundry through the guise of a "prayer request." Seriously, I am guilty of this too, no one is perfect...that's why we need Jesus. But we still need to take stock in our words, and actions, and how they can impact others in their faith journey.

And while I'm on my soapbox, let me point out that even in the theological realm, it's not very nice to tell someone who believes in free will that they are ignorant and missing the boat on election. Or on the flip side, because they believe in election, they can't possibly understand God's grace.

As my grandma would always say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I really think she was on to something.

Even when we speak to others on issues of great theological importance and epic soul consequence, we can still remember to speak Biblical truth in a loving manner. As we spread God's word to the most remote corners of the universe and the darkest depths of one's soul, we must remember to stop putting others down and shaming them for their sins. That's not our job. There is only one Judge.

Through the Cross there is great redemption, everlasting love, abundant hope, immeasurable mercy & overflowing grace. Without the Cross, there is only God's wrath and the deepest pits of darkness.

God says that we must love one another as Christ loves the church. (John 13:34-35) And that we must speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15) We are even told that how we judge others, we will one day be judged in the same manner. (Matthew 7:1) OUCH. I'm in big trouble! How about you? That's a pretty tall order from the Man In Charge.

Are you living up to His standards? Even on the little things? A little food for thought today.

All I can say is thank God for His grace, and new mercies that greet us every morning.

{P.S. Explore the area of "spiritual judge" more deeply. Check out some great biblical insight from a dear family friend, Dr. Harry Shields of Moody Theological Seminary on this very matter: “…don’t assume the role of spiritual judge. That vocation is God’s alone!}

Get your free copy of "The Grace Challenge!"

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40 comments:

  1. I love this. I totally agree and think we would be spending our time much more wisely building each other up than picking each other apart. Thanks for this post a great reminder! Stopping by from the Mommy Moments Monday link up :)
    Xo,
    Chrissy
    http://littlesandlaundry.com

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  2. Agreed Chrissy! It takes more effort to build someone up than it does to pass snap judgments or tear them down. Maybe that's why this is so hard? It takes effort and lots of work!

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  3. I think it's natural to be judgey in some ways. We do all have the things that drive us nuts. It's how we react to those feelings that defines us, not them.

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  4. My temperament and spiritual gifts make me very concerned (if not overly concerned) about the "truth." That gets me in trouble so much of the time, because I cross that line of being "judgy" on one too many of an occasion, Nicki! I think you make a very important and "true" point - our greatest focus and ambition as believers should be to love like Christ. When that's my focus, the rest of my "personal tendencies" stay in the right place--under Christ's authority! Thanks for the inspiring words, my friend!

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  5. I totally agree Stacey! We are all wired to be passionate about different things and God does give us experiences thru life that we can use to educate and warn others about a path not well traveled, but we still can do these things in civil and caring ways, instead of thru harsh words and extreme criticism, even with biblical issues of great soul consequence! Good thing we are all in the same boat, and we have a great Captain to follow! ;) Blessings!

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  6. God has wired me the same way friend! I have been struggling with the need to "educate" others on things that may not align with scripture, but when we let the Holy Spirit work thru us and do the edumacating, so to speak, this can be done with kindness and compassion instead of a critical or condemning spirit. Easier said than done, right! At least we are all in the same boat on this, in one way or another. I am still a work in progress myself. And don't think I will ever arrive at any semblance of perfection on this or any other matter until I meet our King in heaven! Until then, I guess we must choose our battles, as my grandmas would say! xoxo

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  7. When I was a new mom, I admit, I was "judgy" - and then I had teens - and then I learned all about unconditional love, grace and humbleness. It feels like we are living in a culture of intolerance right now - where if you don't think a certain way, eat a certain way, believe about climate change a certain way - and, even live your faith a certain way - then you and your words are condemned. I pray that the church show the world how to love - instead of intolerance slipping into the church from an angry culture. Your time on the soap-box was so well-worth it!

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  8. I am chuckling thinking of the lesson you learned with your teenagers! You are so right, we are living in a culture of intolerance right now, one which is, ironically, promoting tolerance that the majority does not agree with. I think there comes a time where we all have to take a stand of some sort and say enough is enough, and whether it's been too much church based infighting, or just general ridiculousness on Facebook about immunizations and GMO foods, I don't know...but I think this gal hit her limit over the weekend. And the overwhelming emails of support I have received today alone tells me that I'm not alone. Blessings!

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  9. I love this :) I'm not sure what has been going on with my Facebook feed lately either with all the articles and comments being so judge-y. I think we can still be truth focused without this; scripture makes a huge point about truth and love being both necessary! It is such a problem when our motivation is rooted in the desire to be right rather than love for another person. It is so easy for things to completely disintegrate into this mess if people disagree which only makes it harder to speak the truth in love instead of remaining silent when we shouldn't (though most of the time silence is good!) Thanks so much for sharing!
    -Sara, uncommongrace.net

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  10. Well said. I saw a post on Facebook where someone comment on a very precious child I've been following who has a life threatening disease and said it was caused by GMO's. Wow, really? What does this person now anyways? Everything can be bad. All things in moderation, right?

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  11. Totally agree! Our sinful nature takes us to places we should never go. I've been working on my end and pray that others do the same. It's a hard battle, but we have to make a conscious effort to stop this destructive, judgemental behavior. Great post! Thanks for sharing.

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  12. Exactly! I have seen similar posts. Most recently I saw a comment on someone's thread where the mom had a miscarriage and a woman noted that if her family didn't have so much soy in their diet it likely wouldn't have happened. Unreal. More grace! More grace! More grace! Or at least a zipped lip or some common sense. :) Blessings!

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  13. Yes! And I think you nailed it on the head that you are working on YOUR part. We can't make others change, we can only do it thru the strength of Christ, but it's something we ALL have to work on. No one is exempt! :)

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  14. Wow...we are talking about Subtle Sins on my blog to day and judgmentalism is on the list. I don't think it was happenstance that you wrote it at this time. I posted a link on my facebook page. Thank you for allowing God to use you to spread the light of Truth!

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  15. Subtle sins...sounds like a good discussion! Thanks for the shout out Pamela!

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  16. Oh this is good! I have already started seeing hateful things posted on FB regarding the upcoming presidential elections. It is easy to pass judgment, but definitely not the godly thing to do. I believe that it is not always possible to state our opinions and be nonjudgmental at the same time...this is when I need to keep my opinion to myself. Great message!

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  17. While we are supposed to use sound judgement, we are not in any position to get all self-righteous because none of us is perfect. I do not care for judgy attitudes in other or myself. Good post.
    found you on UNITE

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  18. Nicki, you had me at the first paragraph!!! (I'm still laughing about the leggings part.) My younger daughter's kindergarten teacher had a little sign in her room that said: "Is it right? Is it necessary? Is it kind?" If not, the message was, don't say it. A good strategy, I think. Much more recently, I've taken to telling my 13-year-old that not every thought that pops into her head needs to come out of her mouth. I'm not on Facebook, so I'm spared much of the "judgy" annoyances that you mentioned, but I still need to practice these things myself on a daily basis. Thanks for the reminder that we all need to take ourselves and our opinions a little less seriously!

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  19. Too funny! I like that "is it right? is it necessary? is it kind" way of thinking...and glad to hear even the Kindergartners are learning this early on. How easily we forget these lessons, though. You are NOT missing anything with Facebook. Here's to hoping we take ourselves a little less seriously and Jesus and His teachings more heartily! :) Blessings!

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  20. Yeah, I feel the same way Donna. Though I have been realizing that the things that typically drive me nuts about others, are usually someone magnified issues of some sort that I need to work thru. Funny how God teaches us lessons thru others about ourselves. :)

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  21. I struggle with this too Laura. And after all the Presidential announcements this week, I'm considering taking another FB fast until after the election, it's just out of control isn't it? Oh boy! And we've only just begun. I believe that we do need to speak with conviction and passion about alot of things, but we can still do so and uphold Biblical truth in a 'kind' manner. Which I struggle with myself. So hard to do! Blessings!

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  22. Oh yes - yes, yes, yes! I am with you Nicki and have grown ever increasingly tired of the backbiting, pretense, and condescension especially among the body of Christ. I've become more aware of this counting of sins, yours is worse than mine bologna too. I am all for open arms and speaking the truth in love. I know scripture says that wounds from a friend can be trusted but I've been left bleeding out a few times from "friendly fire." Amen to setting aside the "judgy" behavior and linking arms, especially as sisters, and climbing this uphill journey of faith together - lets celebrate the victories and bind the wounded! So glad I found you at #tellhisstory - your heart resonates and I love it!

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  23. Yes Tiffany! So important that we come alongside each other and build up instead of tear down! :)

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  24. Your words are so timely. They made me think of a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland:

    "So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving."



    Thanks for your words!

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  25. I LOVE that quote! Thank you so much for sharing with me :)

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  26. Amen. It can be so easy to see someone, to see all they aren't doing and to judge. I am guilty. But, when we do this, we are missing the opportunity that God has for us to grow. Thank you for inspiring my heart with this truth today Nicki. You always bless me with your words. Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.

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  27. "Stop being so judgmental. Let God do His job." Preach it Nicki! You are right on the mark. Great post!

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  28. I think you hit the nail on the head Kelly....GROWTH...we are given so many opportunities to turn from our worldly ways and grow more, sanctify more, love more. I am guilty of all this stuff too sister, we all are, that's why it's so great God gives us others to help us grow! :) Blessings!

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  29. You're singing my song Girl! If we could only consistently extend each other more grace. You're right - let God do His job. Amen!

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  30. I grew up in a family that was very judgmental. I'm not sure they/we even saw it as being judgmental, really, but it was. In the past ten years or so, the Lord has convicted me hugely of it. This post is a great reminder to watch our words and thoughts. Stopped by from #GraceTruth.

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  31. Oh, how I love this post, Nicki!! I feel the same way about my food, my leggings (although I am judgy when you aren't wearing a shirt that covers your rear end 'cause leggings aren't pants!), my recycling (or lack thereof) or any of those other things that come across all my social media. It makes me tired just trying to read it all, let alone do it all!! I vote we extend grace, too. Thanks friend! xoxo

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  32. Excellent, excellent post Nicki. Well done, thank you for sharing it at Good Morning Mondays. It's all about removing the log from our own eye first before looking at what everyone else is doing. If God convicts us, that's good, let's make sure that we change what He wants, not what everyone else is telling us too. Blessings to you.

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  33. My word I can struggle with this issue, some days/weeks more than others. Thank God the world doesn't rely upon my judgement, or we would all be doomed. lol :)

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  34. Yes! I agree Leah, I grew up in a family that judged alot too. Each other and the whole universe. There was always something wrong, some standard not lived up to, some unmet expectation. Oh boy, I have alot of work to undo! Blessings to you!

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  35. YES Holly, so agreed, leggings AREN'T pants, even if you have the best rear on the planet! It makes me tired to, and I think the next person that tells me my food is going to kill me might get hurt. :) Blessings to you. May we both be more grace filled this week! xoxo

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  36. Couldn't have said it any better Terri. Amen to that! May you have a grace filled week!

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  37. Great word, Nicki!

    It is so easy to pull those splinters out of other people's eyes isn't it!

    Your post hits the nail on the head about grace and love. I especially like the comment: "Stop being so judgmental. Let God do His job."



    Really like your website and look forward to reading more from you~
    Blessings,
    Melanie

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  38. Thanks for the kind words Melanie! :) And yes, it's way easier to look at others than take note of the big, huge shiny log in our own eyes, for sure!

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  39. I love this! Amen sister :). Facebook can be such s downer these days!

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